Psychotherapy must provide you an opportunity to express your full range of emotions, thoughts, memories, and fears. This allows you to generate new perspectives and creative approaches to life. You need to feel safe, and trust is not based on words alone. It develops as you get to know your therapist or counselor. His attitude can lead to your feeling judged regardless of the words spoken. Self-acceptance is a prerequisite of fundamental change, and it is easier for you to accept yourself in an accepting environment.
When a feeling of safety develops, you can use the process to rework significant emotional experiences and family issues. You can identify and change an approach to life which led to conflict and suffering. It is important to learn to listen to your own voice, and while some direction may be helpful, there will be times when the best thing your therapist or counselor can do is listen.
It is critical that your therapist be aware of his own defenses and biases so that they don’t interfere with understanding you. A failure of self awareness can lead the therapist to be overly involved, or overly detached. He must be compassionate without being enmeshed, and he needs clear boundaries to allow you to clarify your own boundaries. Clarity is not only important for you, it is important for your therapist if he is to maintain a safe environment and an ethical stance.
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